邱陽創巴仁波切：如實地作為一粒沙，無有寄望、無有空想
We expect the teachings to solve all our problems; we expect to be provided with magical means to deal with our depressions, our aggressions, our sexual hangups. But to our surprise we begin to realize that this is not going to happen.
我們期望教法會解決我們所有的問題，期望有人提供神奇的方法來對付我們的憂鬱、敵對情緒、性事難題。但我們卻感到錯愕而開始領會到，這樣的事並不會發生。
It is very disappointing to realize that we must work on ourselves and our suffering rather than depend upon a savior or the magical power of yogic techniques. It is disappointing to realize that we have to give up our expectations rather than build on the basis of our preconceptions.
意識到我們唯有親身處理自己與自己的痛苦，而非仰賴某一位救世主或具有神效的瑜伽法門時，會讓人非常失望。意識到我們必須放棄期望，而非基於自己的成見來打造什麼，會讓人感到沮喪。
We must allow ourselves to be disappointed, which means the surrendering of me-ness, my achievement. We would like to watch ourselves attain enlightenment, watch our disciples celebrating, worshiping, throwing flowers at us, with miracles and earthquakes occurring and gods and angels singing and so forth. This never happens.
我們必須讓自己失望，而這意味著「自我性」的臣服、「自我成就」的臣服。我們想要看到自己證得菩提，看到弟子們為我們歡慶、朝我們膜拜、向我們撒花，瑞相萬千、大地震動，眾神與天女一齊歌頌等等。而這絕不會發生。
The attainment of enlightenment from ego’s point of view is extreme death, the death of self, the death of me and mine, the death of the watcher. It is the ultimate and final disappointment. Treading the spiritual path is painful. It is a constant unmasking, peeling off of layer after layer of masks. It involves insult after insult.
從自我的觀點來看，證得菩提便是終極的死亡、自我的死亡、我與我所的死亡、觀看者的死亡。這是究竟的、最終的失望。走在修行道上，是令人痛苦的。要不停地卸除偽裝，摘下一層又一層的遮蔽，經歷一次又一次的羞辱。
Such a series of disappointments inspires us to give up ambition. We fall down and down and down, until we touch the ground, until we relate with the basic sanity of earth. We become the lowest of the low, the smallest of the small, a grain of sand, perfectly simple, no expectations.
如此一而再、再而三的沮喪，會激勵我們放下雄心壯志。我們倒下、倒下、再倒下，直到碰觸地面，直到連接大地的根本明智。我們成為低中之最低、微中之最微，成為一粒沙，極為簡單，無欲無求。
When we are grounded, there is no room for dreaming or frivolous impulse, so our practice at last becomes workable. We begin to learn how to make a proper cup of tea, how to walk straight without tripping. Our whole approach to life becomes more simple and direct, and any teachings we might hear or books we might read become workable. They become confirmations, encouragements to work as a grain of sand, as we are, without expectations, without dreams.
當我們腳踏實地，不容許空想或心血來潮的衝動時，我們的修持終於變得切實可行。我們開始學著如何好好地泡一杯茶，如何筆直地走路而不被絆倒。我們對生命的整體態度變得更加簡單且直接，所有聽聞的教導與閱讀的書籍都變得切實可行，並成為一種確認，鼓勵我們如實地作為一粒沙，無有寄望、無有空想。
From the book: "The myth of freedom" by CHÖGYAM TRUNGPA
~ 摘譯自《自由的迷思》（本書已有中譯，此篇僅為練習）
~ 普賢法譯小組Becca翻譯/Serena 校對，願一切吉祥！
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